Realization
by Kakarot.v5
Summary: During their adventure together, Hope and Lightning come to learn some interesting things about themselves...and each other.
1. Chapter 1

**I first wrote this story quite a few years ago during my lunch breaks at work. It was only recently I decided to type it up. Review if you want.  
><strong>**Final Fantasy and all of its respective trademark property is owned by Square Enix. I don't own a thing. **

Hope was staring. He knew he was staring, but he made no effort to stop, especially considering who he was staring at. Lightning Farron. Or, at least that was her moniker. From what little he knew of her, she was a former soldier of the Guardian Corps, 21 years old and extremely beautiful. That last part he kept to himself, though, since she's probably pound him into a pulp if he said as much out in the open.  
>The first time they met, he found her to be quite intimidating. She possessed a certain strength of character that made her seem resolute and determined in a way that Hope could only dream of. Her every action seemed focused, every body movement measured, every sentence calculated. It was as though she was an amalgamation of efficiency, dedication and direction. Not really qualities that could be described as endearing, but they struck a chord with Hope. She was his polar opposite, wielding every characteristic that he did not, to say nothing of her physical skills - stamina, endurance, fitness, all things she had in abundance that Hope lacked.<br>It was, in fact, these very qualities that drew Hope to her in the hopes that he might one day be able to wield such attributes for his own. Above all else, that he could exact vengeance upon Snow Villiers. In truth, their mutual disdain for the man was the only thing they had in common.  
>Back in the Vile Peaks, however, she had almost left him behind, citing his weakness as a liability. Were it not for Odin's intervention, Hope worried that Lightning would have left him to his own devices while she persevered in her attempts to bring down the Sanctum. But she didn't, and instead chose to take him under her wing. Compassion, it seemed, was another of her saving graces.<br>And graceful she was. Hope couldn't figure out if it was another attribute she controlled or whether it radiated naturally, but she carried herself so well. A sight to behold, whether in combat or at rest. He could lose himself, as well as a few hours, just staring at Lightning Farron. Which is exactly what he was doing right now.

"Something the matter?"

"H-huh?"

"You've been looking towards me for a while now. Is there something on your mind?"  
><em><br>Oh, not really. I just couldn't help but stare in complete admiration of the woman teaching me how to be strong._

"Just brooding over some stuff."

"Remember Hope. If you spend too long fixating over one thing, it can distract you from everything else that's happening around you. Without input, you can't make good decisions. Take in your surroundings, but don't be overwhelmed by them."

"I'll try to keep it in mind. There's more to being on point than meets the eye huh?"

"Don't worry about it. You're doing fine."

Hope was a little taken aback by that. Not long ago, Lightning was ready to leave him and continue down her own path. Now she was encouraging him, giving him support and advice whenever he needed it. Just like mom.

_Wait, what?_

Did Hope just compare Light to his mother? Lightning was certainly a lot of things but maternal wasn't one of them. She was a warrior focused on battle. She'd fight her way towards a goal and take down anybody who was foolish enough to get in her way. But that begged the question: why did Hope compare them? Was it was because Lightning was doing the things Nora used to do for him? Yes, that was the most reasonable explanation. What other role could Lightning play in Hope's life who would do these sorts of things?


	2. Chapter 2

"I was just like you once."

Hope struggled to suppress a laugh. How in the world could Lightning, of all people, ever have been like him? He was weak, unsure of himself and naive about the wider world around him. His combat prowess was still laughable compared to her lethal grace and his emotions constantly plagued him. Dreams would torture him with pictures of happier days and times less fraught with danger. It was almost as if Hope's subconscious was trying to drown out his mind with pleasant memories to blot out the pain of reality.  
>Lightning, by contrast, showed absolutely none of those things in herself. Of course, like any human being, she had to have concerns at times but damned if she ever let it show. The fact that she was able to move forward with such a concrete composure was testament to her strength of will. So how in the hell could she claim to have ever been like Hope?<p>

"My parents died. I had to be strong for Serah, so I thought I needed to forget my past. And I became Lightning."  
><em><br>Light…..lost her parents?  
><em>  
>In that instant, Hope's entire perception changed.<p>

_That means….at one time…she must have felt exactly the way I did._

So, Light knew everything that Hope was going through. It was no wonder then that she was able to relate so well to him. She had been just as confused and hurt as he was, if not more. And yet she was able to transform herself into a self-assured and composed young woman. Hope's mind was blown. But more than that, it was that she had chosen to tell him this. As far as he knew, Light wasn't exactly forthcoming with personal information. Judging by other people's knowledge of her, it was almost unfathomable. Yet his ears weren't deceiving him.

"Light…why are you telling me this?"

Lightning hesitated. That was actually a good question. Well, the least she could do was give him a straight answer.

"Because I can see you're having a tough time getting through this. It was hard for me when I was a kid since I didn't have anybody to confide in, save Serah, and the last thing she needed was to be burdened by my issues. I thought that if you knew that I'd been through, and had someone around who you could relate to, it might make getting through this whole thing a little easier."

_So you chose to tell me this to help me?_

For the second time, Hope was taken aback. In addition to all of Lightning's attributes and abilities, she could also help the people around her at the cost of showing herself to be just as fallible as the next person.  
>This gesture touched Hope deeply. Before his voice began to crack he needed to say something.<p>

"Light?"

"Yeah?"

"I know it can't be easy for you, telling someone that sort of thing. I mean, it's not something you just blurt out to anybody you've known for more than 5 minutes, y'know? So I really appreciate what you're doing for me. And I promise I won't say anything if you don't want me to."

Lightning smiled. And it wasn't one of her platonic smiles to make people stop worrying. This was a smile of genuine warmth and sentiment. She didn't know anyone but Serah who took heart of her feelings like that, and it felt quite nice for them to be acknowledged.

"Don't mention it Hope. Now, we've got to keep moving before the Sanctum sweeps the entire tunnel system."

[Some time later.]

"I won't abandon you."

Hope felt re-assured by those words. He dreaded to think what would happen if he was left alone. To be left for the second time in his life by someone he cared for was something that didn't bear thinking about, not even for a second. Hope glanced towards Lightning and saw something he didn't quite recognize. Gone was the steely facade she usually wore, replaced by something more….tender. Affectionate, even. It almost seemed nurturing. But, why? What could shift Lightning's composure like that?

_Maybe she's worried for me._

"Staying alive I can help you with. But I can't give you Hope."

_That's not true Light. You've been giving me hope this whole time - teaching me to be strong, giving me encouragement and just being there to listen. You've helped me more than I could have imagined. And for that, I'll never abandon you either._


	3. Chapter 3

"Um….Operation Nora didn't work out."

"You'll be okay. I'll keep you safe."

"Lightning. Me too. I mean, at least I'll try. I'll try to watch out for you too."

Lightning was just so relieved to see that Hope was alright. Not too long ago, she had been prepared to sacrifice herself to make sure that he's survive the PSICOM assault, so it was a huge weight off her shoulders knowing he'd made it out safely. If anything had happened to him-

_I'll never let anything happen to him. After everything we've been through together I'm not about to let him disappear from my life._

Her own thoughts took her by surprise. Lightning realized that Hope had somehow managed to work his way into her life, and now that he had she wanted him to stay. Strange.  
><em><br>Not really. I mean, I've always tried to keep myself distant from others so doesn't it make sense that the one person who chooses to be with me should get to stay there?_

But that meant being seen 24/7. Being open to scrutiny. Being vulnerable during times of uncertainty. That certainly wasn't an appealing prospect considering that Lightning had managed to survive on her own for so long. And that was the biggest problem of all.  
><em><br>On my own…_

Strength and solitude seemed side by side, but as she became more and more reliant on the latter a strange kind of bitterness had emerged. Whenever she saw couples holding hands or kissing or making ridiculously baby-like conversation, Lightning was relieved beyond words that she didn't have to play at juvenile courtship games or make idle conversation about nothing.  
>But at the same time she felt a kind of sorrow, almost grieving that she'd never had the chance to experience those emotions for her own. And that there'd be nobody to provide her with words of comfort during those difficult days, hold her hand when she needed somebody close to whisper sweet nothing into her ear.<br>Yet her logical mind screamed that such things were frivolous and Lightning didn't want to waste time or effort in something that didn't seem worth the hassle. So why then did she find herself constantly thinking about it?  
>Ugh, this argument could go back and forth in her head for days and she still wouldn't find a solution. All she knew for certain was that she cared for Hope more than she previously thought possible and that she's never abandon him.<p>

"Hope?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I care about you, right?"

"Sure…I guess."

"That's never going to change. And I promise I will always be by your side."

In that instant, Hope felt more secure and content than he had in a very long time. In Light's arms there was nothing in all of Cocoon that could come close to touching him. They were more than partners now. More than friends. But then, what did that make them exactly?  
>The only example Hope could come up with was his parents, always standing by each other come hell or high water. Okay, his dad wasn't perfect but nothing in the world ever was, but even so, they had resolved to dedicate themselves to each other for the rest of their lives.<p>

_Hang on a minute! But…does that mean that Light has those same feelings for me? Does that mean that she…s-she….l-loves me?_


	4. Chapter 4

Journeying through Oerba, Hope's mind felt like it was being compressed in a vice and being pulled in 50 different directions all at the same time. Agonizing indecision was gnawing away at him, uncertainty clouding his judgement. No matter how hard he tried to focus, even on something as simple as walking, he just couldn't hold it together. Not least of all when the subject of his brooding was walking alongside him.

Before his trial with Alexander, Lightning seemed distraught when he suggested being left behind. Of course, she chose her words carefully to avoid arousing suspicion among the party, but Hope could tell that the very notion of continuing left her in a daze. Ironically, he's suggested it so he'd avoid causing trouble like that. But it was the look on her face that didn't sit well with him - pale, ashen. Almost vacant, like she was seeing through everything. That was a look he hadn't seen Lightning wear and it didn't suit her at all. That, combined with what she said back in Palumpolum, had forced Hope to question exactly how she viewed him. And right now answers were not revealing themselves. So, as much as he dreaded what the potential answer might be, Hope decided to ask the source.

"Hey Light?"

"Yeah Hope?"

"C-can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course. What's up?"

"I-I…um..I meant in private…."

That earned him some funny looks, especially from Sazh and Fang. Lightning flashed them a quick glare and proceeded to head into an abandoned house with Hope in tow. Fortunately there were the remnants of a sofa in the corner of the room so Light took a seat and ushered Hope to join her.  
><em><br>Why am I shaking? Only because I'm terrified of what she'll say._

Looking at his brand, Hope resolved that if he didn't have much time left he'd at least find out what he needed to know. Fear be damned if you're going Cie'th.

"Lightning…what are we?"

"Huh?"

The question caught Lightning off-guard which was rare. It wasn't like Hope to be quite so deep.

"I've been thinking about everything that's happened between us and it feels like there's something…off. I mean, not in a bad way or anything. It's just that…"  
><em><br>Where's he going with this?_

"…y-you seemed to, I dunno, look at me funny. I can't really describe how it feels, but every time we exchange glances it seems like you're looking past me, y'know?"  
><em><br>Was I staring that hard?_

"Then there's these weird moments when we're together. It's like we keep…floating towards each other I guess."

_I promised to keep you safe, remember?_

"I remember what you said back in Palumpolum. Except, when you did, it reminded me of mom and dad. About how they promised to always stand by each other, no matter what came their way."

_What's he trying to say?_

"L-light…I-um..I…."

"What are you trying to tell me Hope?"

Hope was starting to struggle. Here he was, with the woman he cared for more than anyone else in Pulse of Cocoon, about to ask if she had feelings for him. No pressure there then. Just the thought of rejection made his stomach wretch. He'd be destroyed, crushed and utterly downtrodden. Never mind his brand accelerating - he'd probably run a mile in the opposite direction if he feared the worst coming.  
>But what was the alternative? Spend the rest of his time wondering about the chance he never took? Truth be told, that option sounded a damn sight more appealing right now. It was safer, he wouldn't get hurt and at least he's get to hang around Light a while longer enjoying her company without fear of emotional ruin.<br>Okay, plan B it was! But how to get out of this conversation?

_It's not a question of can or can't. There are some things in life you just do.  
>Oh, son of a-<em>

"Light. Do you love me?"


	5. Chapter 5

...

Silence. Godforsaken, unholy silence.  
><em><br>Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_

Hope's soul felt like it had been taken from his body and was now floating above him, chastising him for his foolishness. Right now, the floorboards between his shoes were the most fascinating sight he'd ever seen. He didn't have anywhere near enough courage to look at Lightning, to say nothing of mustering the strength to speak. Oh how he wished the sofa could swallow him alive!

...  
>Still more silence. Uncomfortable, awkward silence.<p>

_What have I done? Only managed to completely ruin the relationship with the one woman that I care more about than anything else in the world. Maybe it's not too late - I could still fix this but I've gotta backtrack._

"W-well… I mean, well, w-what I mean to say is that, um, I don't really know what l-love is. I mean, I'm only 14, right? I'm n-not even sure how it feels, b-but there's just something that's changed between you and me. Th-that's what I'm asking - is if there's any new feelings there. I mean ones that weren't there before. Right?"

_Real smooth genius. Now she thinks you're a bumbling oaf who doesn't know his own mind. One step forward, two steps back._

Hope's gaze hadn't bugged an inch. If he stared at the floor any harder it's probably burst into flames, but he just couldn't bring himself to look at Lightning. She was probably gawking at him, completely dumbstruck that he'd even hinted at the very concept of love between the two of them. That would be a look that could easily haunt Hope until the end of days.

...  
>Still more silence. Damned, unending silence.<br>_  
>Well she clearly isn't speaking to me. Man, this is screwed up royally. I should just work damage control here. I couldn't dig myself deeper if I wanted to.<em>

"Lightning I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have said anything. Now I've just humiliated myself and embarrassed you…..I'll get out of your way now."

Hope couldn't leave quickly enough. He shot up straight and immediately headed straight for the door. But not before feeling a gloved hand on his arm that shouldn't have been there.


	6. Chapter 6

"Light. Do you love me?"

_Did…did Hope just say what I think he said?_

She glanced towards him and saw that his cheeks were very crimson. And he suddenly founded something fascinating on the floor.

_Oh yeah._

Talk about an elephant in the room. But if nothing else it forced Lightning to finally confront her feelings about Hope.  
>Of course she swore to stand by him, protect him, keep him safe. So far the components were there. She knew that he would always be faithful to her and her teachings so fidelity certainly wasn't an issue. Nor would he ever leave her alone if she needed comforting and support. Damned if she ever let it show but Hope was very perceptive of her tells and always seemed to know when she was down. It'd certainly be nice to have someone to be there pre-emptively. Aesthetically they didn't need words. She knew how he looked at her and she certainly wouldn't put him down.<br>But then there was the age issue. And that was a little more complicated. Lightning had never been in lover herself either so it was difficult to figure out exactly what she was feeling without a frame of reference. But when she pictured herself and Hope it didn't look remotely out of place. In truth, it would have been awkward if either of them were older or younger. Of course there would always be those who would criticize but Lightning was incapable of caring less about what they thought. With Hope in her arms, everything else seemed a million miles away. She fully expected and believed that Hope felt the same way - Lightning could read him just as well as he could read her.

_Well, that proves it. I love Hope. Guess I should tell him then._

Lightning reached forward and grabbed his arm to stop him leaving.  
>Hope glanced backwards and saw Lightning hand on his arm. Then he followed it back to look at her face. And what he saw surprised the hell out of him.<br>Lightning was smiling at him. Really smiling, with a look of genuine warmth and affection in her eyes - a far cry from the daggers he expected her to be shooting him.

_Wait a minute…physical contact, and now she's smiling. Could this mean-_

"I love you Hope."

Sensory overload. Hope could feel his eyes glancing around, could hear his lungs making short exhales. And he was almost positive he had the widest grin on his face. But he wasn't making these reaction consciously. Right now, his brain was still trying to process what he heard. It was almost incomprehensible, yet the meaning was abundantly clear.


	7. Chapter 7

...That didn't sound right. Hope felt like he shouldn't be on the receiving end of this conversation - like he's switched bodies with someone that Lightning really loved. So his next utterance didn't come as much surprise to either of them.

"W…w-what?"

"I said I love you Hope Estheim."

Sensory overload again. Somewhere in the back of his head Hope knew that he must have had a really goofy look on his face. But at the same time he didn't care. Because he knew that she didn't care either.  
><em><br>Wait, what's happening to her face?_

Hope realized it was slightly larger now than it was a moment ago. On top of that her eyes were nowhere near as open as they were before. And her mouth with a little contorted. Twisted, even.  
><em><br>No. That's impossible. That could never happen to me. Any second now Snow's probably gonna wake me up and tell me we're leaving. Or I'll remember I'm supposed to be fighting right now. Or my fever will break and I'll stop being delirious. I mean, this isn't happening right? There's….just no way this could possibly happen in a million-_

Hope didn't have time to finish the thought before he felt a set of lips pressed against his. For a brief instant everything froze. Slowly, Hope was able to digest what was going on, and soon threw himself into the kiss.  
>The sensation was unlike anything he had experienced before in his life. Light's lips were so very soft, with a hint of strawberry. Her movements were smooth and comforting. Hope tried as hard as he could to make the kiss enjoyable. He relaxed his muscles and tried to follow Light's lead, gently tracing invisible patterns on her lips and trying to avoid bumping her nose. When he felt a hand clasp at hairs on the back of his head he reciprocated with a hand on Light's cheek. Hope wasn't quite sure what he was doing - it was his first kiss after all - but he enjoyed taking little cues from Light, and she seemed to be enjoying it too.<br>Unfortunately their mutual need for air got in the way of things. They separated, breathlessly, and gazed deeply into each other's eyes. They both knew. The first kiss was just a formality. Now's where it would get interesting.  
>Leaning forwards, Hope could feel a sense of urgency from Lightning this time but wasn't quite sure what to do about it. So he tried running his tongue along the edges of Light's lip and felt her mouth open to him. Ecstasy filled him as Hope deepened the kiss, teasing Light's tongue with his won. It felt a little weird to have something warm and slimy inside his mouth, but it was something Hope easily felt he could get used to - especially with more training from Light.<br>Needless to say, he was no match for Light's technique and skill but he tried to give as good as he got, mimicking her movements and sensually holding her chin. Hope just couldn't get over how incredibly soft she was, and her taste kept pervading him in the most seductive manner. He was putty in her hands.  
>Hope wasn't quite sure how long the kiss had lasted - minutes and hours had lost all meaning. But what he did know for certain was that he never wanted it to end. Unfortunately his lungs objected again and he had to take in air. Staring into Light's eyes, he couldn't explain why he felt this way but he knew deep in his heart that he loved her just as much as she loved him and would gladly give his life to protect her.<br>Sometime later they fell backwards together onto the sofa and sat in each others arms, a comfortable silence looming.

"I wish this moment would never end Light."

"It's Claire."

"What?"

"My name - it's Claire. I figure if you love me and want to be with me, then you deserve to know my real name."

"You're certainly right about that. I do love you Claire."

"And I love you too Hope."

It took a long while but they finally knew how they felt about each other. They would stand by each other come hell, high water or any Fal'cie foolish enough to cross their path. From the outside in, it might have seemed twisted and perverse. They knew, however, that it was the greatest and best thing that ever happened to either of them their whole lives.  
>In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.<p>

**And that's all folks.  
>I might be tempted to throw in some sexual content if there's any call for it, but it may take me a while to come up with something of sufficient quality.<strong>


End file.
